


A Bunch of Flours

by ToughPaperRound



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Puns & Word Play, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 06:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound
Summary: A Valentine's Zimbits ficlet. Set in a post-Check, please! universe when Bits has graduated and Zimbits live together in Providence.





	A Bunch of Flours

 

Even before Jack graduated, Bitty and Jack agreed that Valentine's Day is hogwash.

Heteronormative nonsense. All those expectations. Capitalist swines… card companies will be first against the wall come the revolution, etc.

Yes, love is a precious thing. So precious that it should be celebrated EVERY day of the year - not just on a proscribed date.

No, as a couple they will not stoop to this.

 

But Bitty has seen the screeds of loved-up couples with the cute filters on Instagram every year.

His favourite YouTuber did a Valentine boyfriend tag back in 2017 that he still rewatches every month.

Beyonce did that thing last year…

 

Jack, meanwhile, is ingrained with a soft, romantic streak almost as thick and strong as his quads. It’s genetic. Passed down to him along with the other Zimmermann assets of hockey ass and model cheekbones.

He’d watched his parents’ attempts to out-romantic-gesture each other over the last decades. A generous budget, ginormous competitive instincts and a quirky sense of humour had led to some amazing events over the years.

But the romantic moments he particularly recalls are the small gestures. Notes, shared ice creams. Long walks holding hands, pun wars. Daft postcards they've sent each other over the years from trips when they had to be apart. Codewords for “I'm horny” and “Nggh, the way you look in those trousers” and “Soon”, used from when Jack was tiny. Yes, he became increasingly aware of them and embarrassed by them as a teenager. But they were still kinda cute.

So as February rolled around and Jack saw the team's schedule was clear on the 14th, Jack pondered whether he could surprise Bits with a large red card and an extravagant bottle of cologne. Or, better yet! A private evening at the rink (complete with their skates, a thermos and a romantic picnic on the benches). So many of the best and even some of the worst of his parents’ ideas came to mind.

Jack rejected them all. They had agreed that it was a silly wasteful holiday. Not for them, this aligning themselves with a celebration of tacky chocolate or overpriced flowers.

Jack contented himself with random acts of romance throughout the year. Committed in haste, spur of the moment, or planned and then committed at leisure. All received with that warm smile, soft kisses, a little snort of giggle, or a “This Boy” on Twitter.

 

_/_/_/ \\_\\_\\_

 

On the morning of the 14th itself, Jack was doing the grocery shopping by himself while Bitty had a dental appointment to attend. He went to a hipster kind of market a few miles further away because their regular store no longer stocked a particular tea that he wanted.

He cursed the fact that no two stores have the same layout. How can it be so difficult to find something as simple as butter, or toothpaste? He tried to remind himself how long online shopping had taken him when he attempted it that one time (and how many kilos of bananas Bitty had had to find new recipes for), and persevered with his wandering of the aisles. He found his thoughts drifting to his Bitty when he reached the Home Baking Supplies area: the feel of Bitty's strong arms kneading bread dough the previous week; a sense memory of the spiced aroma of his special treacle tart; a sun soaked image of a smiling cheek, heavily dusted in flour.

A fellow customer cleared their throat loudly to get his attention and pointed at some shelves he was blocking whilst daydreaming like a lovesick idiot. He quickly dodged out of their way with a blushing Canadian “Sorry”. They reached for the bags they wanted and tutted on their way. As he came back to himself he looked up at the shelves.

He saw all the different brands and categories, wondering in amazement at the range. What were they all for?! Why was that one so much more expensive than this one? Is this stuff even _edible?_

Bits would love it here, he thought, determined to return together another day so that he could enjoy watching him choose.

 

A flash of Zimmermann inspiration in the form of a pun zapped his hindbrain, leaving him unable to resist. He had to carry out this pun. It had to be enabled. No matter what. Despite the date. _Because_ of the date?

He scurried along the aisle, getting one of everything he thought he needed and consulting Google on occasion. He took his heavy shopping trolley to the checkout and tried to ignore the assistant’s bemused expression.

As he was about to pay the bill, he remembered the tea he’d wanted. _Crisse!_ No matter! Another time!! Now Jack was in a hurry. Now he had to get home before Bits returned, so that he could effectively Display the Pun. He wanted to be casually leaning against the doorframe when Bits saw the collection on their kitchen worktop. (He knew one of these days Bitty was going to notice how often he leaned in various doorways and call him out on it - but for now he just gave him more heart eyes, stroking his hand down Jack’s bicep as he passed.)

Jack knew for sure that Bitty would love this Valentine gift. He'd groan. He'd smile like a supernova. He'd throw himself into Jack's arms and hug his neck and smother him in kisses. Jack may even be able to convince Bits to take him to their bed for a few hours.

He'd take at least a dozen pictures of Jack's pun-tastic gift and spend a half-hour deciding on a filter and caption for sharing it on Instagram. And Twitter. The SMH team group chat would light up, ribbing Jack for his Dad-jokes.

 

And then his Bits would roll up his sleeves and bake Jack's favourite pie for them to share as a candlelit supper at their kitchen table. Jack & Bitty would remember this Valentine's Day for a very long time to come.

 

 

**References:**

See also this Telegraph [ news story from 2015 ](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/11820266/Woman-asks-boyfriend-for-flowers-and-receives-12-bags-of-flour.html), just so you know it ain't an original idea if you want to use it for your s.o.

One lovely person on [ Tumblr ](http://acreaturecalledgreed.tumblr.com/post/170883364843/acreaturecalledgreed-for-the-first-like-14-years) explains why they used to think Valentine's Day celebrated a massive gay polyamorous marriage.

Here's something the ever-curious Jack discovered whilst googling in that Baking aisle: flour that is [ high in protein ](http://blog.naturallygoodfood.co.uk/2015/11/10/high-protein-gluten-free-flours/). He’s down! 

If the webcomic ‘Check, please!’ is a new concept to you, then try the [ primer ](http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/114468650697)

Finally, my banner art for this fic shows images of the model Ryan Kennedy as Jack, and of the actor Ben Baur as Bitty. I hope you appreciate the long hours of research I committed to on this project - who knew there were so many photos of Ryan Kennedy that were not quiiiiite right?

A bannered post for this fic is [on Tumblr](https://garibaldifigroll.tumblr.com/post/182902176210/my-latest-fic-up-now-on-ao3-is-a-valentine-tale) if you feel like sharing. Thanks!


End file.
